THE ZOMBIE AND THE DOE by Peter McCarthy
November 18, 2008 Short stories
I never had a stomach for shooting. The only time that I had been invited to one of my Grandfather’s famed huntin’ n’ fishin’ weekends I had earned the scorn of my extended male family by firing early and high at a doe, allowing her to scamper into the forest before the more experienced marksmen could take a bead.
That was a lifetime ago, before the apocalypse. God knows where they all were now; dead probably, or worse. And here I was, rifle once again in my hands, the butt nestled to my shoulder and the muzzle pointed at Jenny’s forehead.
There have been many heroes of the Zombie wars, but I’m not one of them. Sure, I was in the local militia but who wasn’t? But I was lucky, as the town’s only medical practitioner I was deemed too valuable to wander far from the perimeter stockade. (The local doctor had succumbed to the plague early, we had kept him locked in the bar cellar with the others whilst we thought there was still a chance of finding a cure.) Still, a small town veterinarian has to be a jack of all trades, I could set broken bones, perform minor surgeries and diagnose human ailments with a fair degree of accuracy. More importantly, I could attend to the chickens, pigs and the handful of cattle that roamed freely within the stockade and provided us with an essential protein source, and the community dogs who would smell zombies a mile away and howl in unison.
The scouting patrol had returned early that day, eleven haggard looking men and women, rifles slung over their shoulders and dogs held on leashes. Two of them bore a stretcher with a third lying upon it. Even before they had reached the perimeter the cry of “Medic†went up and I scrambled to the gate.
“Combat wound?†I asked.
“Broken ankle.†Came the reply. “Slipped down a gully.â€
As I splinted the young patrolwoman’s ankle, the squad leader gave his report to the perimeter sergeant. “We spotted a horde of Zees about five clicks from here, dozens of them. We took out a couple from a distance and then doubled back along the river. Lost them easily enough but they were moving in this direction.â€
Tensions were high that night. It had been nearly eighteen months since a major horde had been encountered. Our recent contacts had been limited to individual Zees emerging from the forest or riverbed, dangerous but containable.
The dogs started howling in the early hours. We fired up the diesel generators and ignited the spotlights that both illuminated the killing zones and provided an irresistible beacon for the Zees. Jenny, my wife, grabbed a rifle and took up her post on the perimeter fence. Don’t ask me about the fight, I don’t know the details, I guess it was standard tactics; as many distance headshots as possible and those townsfolk without firearms having the most dangerous job of mopping up any Zees that managed to breach the perimeter.
My job was to run the field hospital which was set up in the bar. Triage separated those with zombie inflicted wounds from other injuries. Anyone with a suspected Zee wound was pumped full of morphine and quarantined in the cellar, still blackened from the firebombs that had euthanized the first wave of infected townsfolk in the early days. That night we were fortunate, only two Zee bites; one young man who was dragged into the triage by his comrades, kicking and screaming and swearing that he had not been bitten, despite the ragged teeth marks that had torn off his ear and scoured his face. My two orderlies held him still whilst I administered the morphine shot, then dragged him howling into the cellar. The second was the squad leader from that morning’s patrol. He was crying softly, lamenting his cowardice at not being able to turn his rifle on himself, yet he was brave enough to admit to his wound, bare his arm for the shot and walk into the cellar unaided.
The sound of the rifle shots slowly dissipated, indicating that the Zees been eliminated. They never withdrew or retreated or regrouped, they just came on relentlessly until every last one of them had suffered a massive head trauma. It was only after the firing had ceased that Jenny came in, ashen faced and combat weary. “My arm. †She said, “ I cut it on the fenceâ€
I pushed past the orderlies.
“Clean wound†I announced inspecting her arm. “No teeth marks.â€
I washed and dressed her arm, using my body to block the orderlies’ line of sight as I surreptitiously removed the loose tooth embedded in Jenny’s flesh. Later, when we were alone she cried uncontrollably and I did my best to reassure her that not everyone bitten got infected. Later still, when she fell ill I assured her that not everyone who got sick fell into a coma. Finally when she lapsed into a death-like coma I promised her that I would find a cure.
The delegation of townsfolk was not unexpected, even as town medic I could only cover up Jenny’s ailment for a short time. What was unexpected was the compassion with which they approached. We know what has happened, they said, it’s a tragedy, why don’t you let us take care of the situation? But I Jenny was my wife, and I knew my community responsibilities.
So here we were, at the taboo place just outside of the perimeter fence, blocked from the view of the town by a high wickerwork fence. Jenny lying comatose in a shallow ditch, and me trying to build the courage to shoot her in the head before lighting the fire that would incinerate her remains. I lowered the rifle once again and shooed at the chickens that pecked the ground around me, promising myself that after I had scattered them I would finish my task.
The low groaning sound signalled Jenny’s final metamorphosis. As her eyes open I knew that I had to shoot, that there was nothing left of Jenny but soulless dead flesh, but still I could not fire.
Her hand snatched out and grabbed my ankle in a vice like grip, her teeth edging towards my calf as I stood frozen to the ground. And then there was a squawk and a crunch and Jenny’s hand let go of my ankle.
I watched as she staggered to her feet, sating her appetite on a chicken that had come within grabbing range, bones, feathers and all. Had Jenny made a conscious decision to release me and take the chicken instead, or was it just a more convenient meal for her?
I looked into her eyes, searching for signs of cognisance. She looked back at me empty and lifeless, still munching on the chicken carcass. I raised the rifle and thought I saw the slightest flicker of something; recognition, fear, self preservation perhaps? I knew what I had to do.
I aimed.
I fired.
I fired early and I fired high.
And like that doe all those years ago, a flicker of survival instinct ignited somewhere deep within Jenny and she turned and staggered towards the dense forest.
Excellent story. Really liked the ending, kind of ironic.
Comment by Glenn on November 18, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
The Question, “Could I do it?”. Nice!
Comment by Joe Mc on November 18, 2008 @ 7:24 pm
Kinda weak. No action. Dude this is about ZOMBIES, why no gore???? Man, we don’t even know what kinda guns they used. This is a Zombie fiction site, we want action and violence and grafic descriptions
perhaps u should submit it to a womans magazine
Comment by Ricardo on November 18, 2008 @ 8:28 pm
Not all zombie stories have to be blood and gore, Ricardo. The human element is just as compelling.
Great story!
Comment by Jeremy on November 19, 2008 @ 9:05 am
A good read– the psychology is a lot more interesting than bang-bang zombie die.
Comment by mrg on November 19, 2008 @ 12:52 pm
Nice. I enjoyed how you focused on what an issue wounds would be, and the emotional complications of a loved one getting infected. Keep writing!
Comment by Blue09 on November 19, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Nice read. Good human drama. Every story does not need buckets of blood and organs flopping about. 🙂
Comment by Rick on November 19, 2008 @ 8:33 pm
Guys,
Thank you so much for your kind words and positive feedback. I wrote this story and another one (hopefully to be posted in the next few days) when I was down with the flu. I was really quite excited that it got posted on the site, and to get your encouragement is really thrilling.
A special mention to Ricardo – you’ve inspired me to draft another story (provisionally entitled “Gerald”) – A Zombie story with no violence, no gore and quite possibly no Zombie, if it gets posted it’ll really piss you off….
Cheers
Comment by Peter McCarthy on November 19, 2008 @ 10:17 pm
Nice read. I like the emotion and the details. Doesn’t have to all be gore and splatter. Keep writing. You’ve got talent.
Comment by David Youngquist on November 20, 2008 @ 7:47 am
“A special mention to Ricardo – you’ve inspired me to draft another story (provisionally entitled “Geraldâ€) – A Zombie story with no violence, no gore and quite possibly no Zombie, if it gets posted it’ll really piss you off….”
Ha! Makes me smile!
Comment by Blue09 on November 20, 2008 @ 5:24 pm
i need tips on making a good zombie story. anything will do. post it on this coment thing
Comment by jake on November 21, 2008 @ 1:59 am
I don’t think there’s any one good formula for it. If you want to write a story, write a story, as long as it deals with zombies in some way. Look around this site and see all the differant styles collected here. Some people on this site wouldn’t be satisified without a lot of blood and guts. if that isn’t part of your story though, don’t feel bad. Don’t feel like it’s not a real zombie story. This story in particular has very little gore, but it is still a good piece of work.
Comment by David Youngquist on November 22, 2008 @ 11:29 am
Hey Jake,
The toughest thing is just to get started, there’s nothing more scary than a blank page.
There are so many great stories on this site can inspire you. A couple of pointers that helped me though:
Pick a theme, do you want action, tragedy, comedy?
Keep it short, cut out things that don’t drive the narrative
Tell the story from a single perspective (that is, only have one main character)
Set the story in a single location
Remember your first draft will never be perfect
And above all, read the comments on this site and remember that the audience is nearly always supportive.
Look forward to reading your story
Comment by Peter McCarthy on November 22, 2008 @ 3:50 pm
my story is kinda crazy. many things all happening at once. like say for instance: in the begining there are five people all in the same city epiriencing somewat of the same thing. ill try and post it on here.
Comment by jake on November 22, 2008 @ 10:37 pm
Really enjoyed the story. Thought the pace was perfect.
Minor Fault “But I Jenny was my wife”
I think ultimatly Zombie stories aren’t about Zombies. They are actually about human reactions to zombie encounters and do not have to be full of gore and death.
Comment by Peter on November 22, 2008 @ 11:09 pm
hey,i just emailed it. it sucks wen it says it take 1-2 months to get a response.
this story was rather good. it was interesting on how they had the basement. and the zombie with like a gut feeling on eating the chicken instead of the guy. GOOD JOB.
Comment by Jake on November 22, 2008 @ 11:55 pm
o….and thanks for all the tips u guys gave me, it helped a lot.
Comment by Jake on November 22, 2008 @ 11:56 pm
Most excellent story, Peter!
I love the element of “It’s not that EASY to fire a gun at…”
Intelligence! That is SUCH an attractive feature, in either a story or a person.
May I compliment you for not lowering yourself to using “chat speak?” There is no need to use the letter “u” in place of the word “you” when there is no character limit to be found.
Kudos for a good story and for good thinking!
Comment by Christine on November 23, 2008 @ 1:08 am
Thanks Guys
Jake – Good luck with the story, I look forward to reading it mate.
Peter – Thanks for the sharp eyes! It doesn’t matter how many times I re-read it I always seem to miss something, and thanks for the encouraging words too, greatly appreciated.
Christine – Thank you so much for your kind words, they were most flattering! Although in all fairness I must admit that my lack of “chat speak” is probably more of a reflection of my age rather than my commitment to good English.
All Posters – I’m over the moon that you guys have enjoyed this story and have taken the time to post comments. I have also submitted a couple of other stories, so if the editor deems them fit for posting I hope to chat to you again.
Cheers
Comment by Peter McCarthy on November 23, 2008 @ 4:13 pm
best story on site the others are really bad or just plain stupid. Sry it not personel attack just what it think.
Comment by john on December 10, 2008 @ 2:13 am
Hey, it was a really good read. Simple and to the point. One of the more realistic ones here too; it’s completely belivable (considering the zombie thing anyway) Keep writing!
Comment by ashes7811 on December 10, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
The best one I have read here yet. It really was well written and in the style of the stories from the book. I didn’t mind the lack of detail about weapons and even a description of what the people looked like. It left me to fill in the blanks and after all, it’s an oral history story; someone sharing their personal experience. We need more like this and I am firing up my mind to write one now with characters based in the real world and my own experience and love lost.
Keep writing. You tell a good tale.
Comment by Andre on December 13, 2008 @ 11:24 pm
Thanks John, Andre and Ashes,
That is incredibly flattering feedback, especially considereing some of the great work on this site. Thank you so much.
I’m really glad that you found it simple, and I was specifically trying to avoid descriptions where ever possible, I wanted to strip back everything except the emotion of the protagonsits
I’ve recently had another story posted (“Zombeo and Juliet”) and submitted a couple more for review. If you get a chance it would be great if you could check it out.
Thank you so much for your support and kind words, I’m really over the moon.
Cheers
Comment by Peter McCarthy on December 14, 2008 @ 4:22 pm
I enjoyed this story, especially the “pumping bite victims full of morphine before they ventured into the zombie cellar” idea. Also, your connection between beginning & end using the protagonist’s inability to shoot a doe (or a loved one) was a skillful writing tactic.
Comment by Eric on January 7, 2009 @ 3:51 pm
nice story
Comment by Rich on January 15, 2009 @ 4:08 pm
I loved the emotion in this. Emotion would be a real problem with loved ones infected. How you end it is a perfect love story. Surreal but realistic. I love this reading. Bravo!
Comment by Gabryl on January 25, 2009 @ 11:09 pm
We had a case like this in the free zone, Saddly, another marksmen killed the victim …./i may write about it some day you see i was the other marksman and the infected was my sister. We all did horrorible things to survive the war and things are never going ot be the same…you are a brave man and thank you for sharing part of your tail with us.
Thomas von Klenk, Sub Commander, Valley Forge Free Zone
Comment by Thomas on February 1, 2009 @ 11:56 pm
I can’t believe people are still reading this story 3 months later!!!
Thank you so much for your kind comments guys
Comment by Peter McCarthy on February 18, 2009 @ 4:58 pm
just found this site great story i will be up all nite reading
Comment by chris warchild on February 24, 2009 @ 1:38 am
Very well written. The descriptiveness is enough to keep you interested without drowning out the rest of the story. It’s nice to see a main character who hasn’t lost their sense of humanity even in a time where they have to dehumanize the world around them. Would help keep ones sanity I suppose.
Comment by Terry Schultz on August 14, 2009 @ 2:26 am
This was a really good story…totally believable. I love zombie stories and I often fantasize about what I’d do in an outbreak…saving family members, rounding up supplies and taking out zombies, but when I think about shooting a family member, I just can’t imagine it. I would, most likely, do the same as this character…unless that chicken wasn’t around to save my skin…lol. I also love the idea of residual memory in zombies. It’s really sad but also reminds us that they are humans who had something go very wrong inside them. You also developed the story in a way that I felt for the characters in a very short time. Keep up the good work!
Comment by Cherry Darling on November 27, 2009 @ 8:35 am