ISLANDS by Pete Bevan
September 29, 2009 Short stories Tags: contest winner, Pete Bevan
The heat of the morning sun forces me from my canvas home and out onto the flat gravel world. I drink greedily of my meagre water and wrench the two foam stops from my ears. The low monotone rumbles becoming distinctive moans from my dead neighbours below. My heart sinks.
I crunch across the gun shop roof towards the door, locked and wedged shut with my heavy pack. Sliding it out of the way I listen. Six days of scratching and shuffling becomes seven and I don’t know if I have the will to open the door. Slowly, I turn the key and hear excitement rise from below. Hesitantly, I open the door and the carpet of foetid stinking hands below grasp through the broken stair well to the bottom edge of the door, hunger increasing every day. I close the door quickly, lock it and wedge the pack back against it. One more day trapped in my new home, my new prison.
I don’t want to look over the edge just yet so I retrieve a tin of beef stew. It was all so rushed I packed food for a month before retreating up here but it was all dried meals, and I didn’t have time to lug all the water up here I needed. The relentless morning beats heat against my scalp so I sit half in half out the tent for shade while I finish and rub my finger against the tin insides to get the last gravy. I throw the tin over the edge and stretch, clicking my back in several places. My routine finishes with the wind up radio but each morning I spend progressively less time flicking through the channels as hope fades in the sea of static and low moans around me. I lay back with my head inside and close my eyes. I want to sleep but I’m well rested, at least sleep takes me from this nightmare, even if it is just temporary transport through a moments blessed blankness to another nightmare. Nothing left now but to survey the kingdom.
Under the tarp sunshade I find the rifle, powerful, accurate, silenced, with a high magnification sight. I nestle it into my bruised shoulder and lie under the tarp. Boxes of ammo form one side of my shelter, yet I took this over water? Idiot. I check the gun over ignoring the mag within, I know it’s full, the gun looks ok. I place it reverently on the ground for in it lies the seed of hope, now shrivelled and warped by sheer numbers below.
First of all I slide forward and peek at the street below, just before I look I imagine it clear, with a few cars parked and a man posting letters across the street. The cute girl with the terrier sashays past my window at eight twenty three, just like every morning. After a week my mind still expects this view even with the sounds rising from the street below. Below the Zombies wait, unmoving, passive. Like a snapshot of a normal world they stand resolute. I look round for my favourites, Clown Boy, Skater Chic, Mr Banker, are all there, somewhere in the street. I avoid looking at the horrible ones, Spiderman, the young boy with the flesh flayed off his back, Ironside, the disabled guy still in his wheelchair rolling around in circles with his one good arm and worst of all ‘Mother’. I recognise with my peripheral vision her outline and that marks the spot where I won’t look today. I just hope she doesn’t move and if she does I hope she moves far away, dragging the thing on reins with her, once again I toy with shooting her but it would mean looking at her again and I just can’t face it. From three stories up a quick look would tell you it was a busy morning on a normal city street, but look again and the pools of blood and missing limbs appear as a record of horror and death etched on each face and body. Smashed cars, overturned trucks and the tanker slewed into the wall of the music shop complete the vignette.
I look up and down the straight city street, in the distance the heat makes shimmering heads of the distant crowd, as far as the eye can see in any direction they wander aimlessly or stand staring at a world that no longer exists.
Suddenly I feel a ripple go through the crowd below, flock-like they turn towards something unseen. I can hear the screech of tyres on tarmac. I go to the edge of the roof in the direction the Dead below are looking. Over the engine I can hear whump, whump. The sound of body panels hitting bodies. Looking up the street I see about thirty zombies on the street corner go shambling out of view up the road. More screeching tyres and I run and pick up the sniper rifle and a few mags. I lay them on the low wall in front of me, put on leg on the wall and rest my elbow on it, settling into the sights. More Zombies run down the side street towards the noise just as a large SUV careers, screaming round the corner towards my position. Its battered and several Zombies are hanging from the roof rails and spare tyre. It straightens up to go down my street but the driver over compensates and ends up on the two opposite side wheels. Closer now, he tries to correct again and clips the corner of an upturned truck.
The SUV spins stalling to a stop, flicking bodies off it like a pinball bumper. It’s two hundred feet away, nicely in range. I flick the safety and get ready. There are already hundreds of Zombies closing on the truck and more on their way as the sunroof opens and a head pops out with a pistol in front of it.
A woman in her forties climbs out of the sunroof as frantic hands grab at her. She shoots a few around her, desperately looking for escape. This wakes me from my reverie. I shoot, single shots, each as accurate as the last into the heads of those around her. She spots the dead drop but doesn’t panic or try to see me. Above her she sees the Stop Sign. She tries to lean into the jump but as she swings her leg goes into reach and they grab her. Fft fft fft, I shoot and I continue swapping mags with ruthless efficiency, but as I take them out more climb up frantic with hunger, snapping their teeth. They pull her off the roof and into the writhing mass so I can’t see which ones to shoot next. Then another figure climbs through the sunroof, but too much time has passed and the Dead now stand on each other, desperate for the food, as high as the car. They drag a young man in his twenties out of the car as he screams something unintelligible, he falls to the mass and I stop shooting. Over the frenzy I can hear the cracking of ligaments and the tearing of flesh. I drop the rifle on the roof and sprint to the tent. I fit the earplugs back in and sit in the tent, rocking, I don’t want to look over the edge any more. I don’t want to look over the edge. I don’t want to look. There is no hope. I’m gonna die up here.
Eventually I look.
The car stands there, all around are the lucky red Zombies that had a feast. I guess if there is enough of them you don’t get a chance to become one of them, you just get turned into red stains. Once again I tried to help. Once again it was futile. I cry. Not for them, for me, and after I feel better.
Retrieving the binoculars I decide to check on my silent neighbours’ progress. The mall behind was overrun so there is no need to check it, but ahead the city stretches out in archipelagos, gravel islands lifted to the sky by planning laws become desert islands in the Sea of the Dead.
I calibrate in on the Garage maybe half a mile away. ‘Bill’ and ‘Ben’ the two grease monkeys aren’t doing so well. They are still asleep on the roof (They were in different positions on the roof yesterday weren’t they?). I haven’t seen them eat or drink since this started, and yesterday I caught the tale end of an argument that nearly saw Bill thrown from the roof. I make a mental note of their positions in case they haven’t moved by tomorrow.
The girls at the deli, on the other hand, have started early morning sunbathing and are barbecuing something from the shop below, presumably using the fresh food as the city still has electric for all the use that is on my island. They have a jug of water on the table and an umbrella to keep the heat off. I bet they have Ice as well, I wish I was there.
Fuck. The office must have fallen overnight, I watch in despair as the survivors I hoped to meet if we got out of this mess now roam the roof with their new buddies. The young girl gnaws distractedly on an arm. Looking at the watch I realise it is the arm of ‘Prick boss’, I hope her Undead self enjoyed ripping the arm from him, he was a real asshole. I don’t see anyone else I recognise at the office and mentally cross it off places to look in the future.
I look closer to the Music shop just down the street. ‘Music Shop’ looks different today, he’s searching for something round the roof, not just looking over the edge or sitting on the office chair, like yesterday. The music shop is only two levels so I can see down onto his position. All four sides are tinted glass so I can’t see him when he is inside but he does pop out onto the roof occasionally. I see him peering over at my gun shop. It won’t do him any good if he does get here. Look at the shit I’m in. The artic that slewed into the building sits partway in the bottom floor, and I was surprised he wasn’t overrun, perhaps it sealed the hole it created.
Music shop is gathering something from the roof, looking closer I can see him coiling cabling in his arms. Either electric cables or phone wires I’m not sure, but he is working steadily coiling away. As he works I settle myself under the tarpaulin and watch with the binoculars.
Once he has a long length of cable he goes over to the roof and starts to uncoil it down the side. What is he doing? The cable drops until it reaches the floor. None of the Zombies seem to notice. He does something with his end and starts to pull the cable back up, coiling it as he goes. Then he uncoils it along the length of the roof and disappears back into the shop. For the rest of the day he goes up and down from the roof, measuring lengths of cable or hose and winding smaller lengths together to make something. Then late in the afternoon he stops and surveys the scene. I take stock of him properly through the binoculars. He is balding, grey haired, mid fifties maybe with a bit of a paunch and red skin from working in the sun all day. He has a wry grin on his face. I like him.
I shift my position to get more comfortable and when I look back Music Shop is tying something around his waist. Then he backs towards the edge of the roof and starts to shimmy his way down the wire he spent all morning making. He’s over the tanker wedged into the side of the building dropping slowly hand over hand down the glass sides of the building. What the hell is he doing? He drops onto the tanker roof and the Dead around him go wild, closing in around the tanker frantic for their next meal. Now he works quickly, he opens the small access hatch in the tanker, unties part of the cable he climbed down on feeds it inside and then gingerly closes the lid. On the far side I see a head pop up, followed by an arm that grasps towards Music Shop. I draw my bead and fire, an explosion of black wetness on the glass behind. Then Music Shop turns, squints in my direction and is frantically waving his arms at me. Is he committing some weird suicide? The Zombies are so densely packed they are clambering over each other and getting a grip on the top of the tanker. I see Music shop grasp his makeshift rope and start to climb, slowly.
Hand over hand he climbs, his age now betraying him. Agonising minutes with each faltering grasp I think he is going to fall. Finally he reaches over the roof and collapses on the gravel. I realise I have spent the whole time holding my breath and curling my toes in support. I relax too. To try and fathom his plan I try to see if there is an ID plate on the tanker. Unfortunately I can’t see it for Zombies. Is he siphoning off fuel for a generator when the electricity dies?
I am disappointed when Music shop slowly rises and disappears inside. I spent the whole afternoon watching him. The sun slowly sinks. I finish my water.
—–
I’m thirsty. Bill and Ben haven’t moved since yesterday. No sign of the girls at the Deli. No sign of music shop. My shop is still full of them. I toy with the pistol.
—–
I’m thirsty. Bill and Ben are definitely dead, but the girls in the Deli are hanging on, maybe they had sunburn and stayed inside yesterday. I have sunburn even though I’m mainly under the tarp. Weirdly I’m not as depressed as yesterday, maybe these things go in cycles.
I’m drawn to looking at the car from the crash the day before yesterday for some reason, after checking for Mother (she’s moved on I think), I inspect the vehicle. I’m sure it stalled when it crashed, if it did its still got fuel. I lean right over the edge of the roof to get the angle on the scope and the keys are definitely in it, with an interior light is still on. It still has power. My heart leaps until I see the density of the dead below. Even if I could teleport into the car I wouldn’t get it started before they ripped me out. It may as well be in the South Pacific. My island. My prison.
I sit under the tarp and watch single clouds drift across my vision in the summer sun. I stare at the girls on the deli roof. I throw gravel over the edge. I sit. I try not to think about how thirsty I am. I fail. I toy with the pistol. I stare at the sky.
A crash followed by glass hitting the floor. I can hear shouting. I fumble the gun and sweep with the scope. I miss it at first and have to sweep back. Music shop is stood on the first floor of the shop, shouting obscenities at the Dead below. Then he backs into the shop and breaks the next window, shouts some more and breaks another window. The Zombies below are wild with desire, they press up against the bottom storey grasping and tearing at each other to get to the meat. Music shop carries on breaking glass and shouting as he moves out of view around the corner. I can hear the reverberation of him as he repeats his mantra, break glass, shout, break glass, shout all the way around the building. Then silence. Silence?
Then he is on the roof waving a whiteboard at me. He props it up where I can see it and I focus in with the scope. FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD SNIPER WHATEVER HAPPENS DON’T SHOOT ME!!!!!
What? Why would I shoot Music Shop?
Then he runs to some cabling and plugs something in. There is a massive electrical bass sound and I see movement on the first floor. I realise he has arranged every speaker in the shop to face outside and I can see the speakers react to the power. Then he sits at the keyboard that I didn’t see him bring up from the shop and he starts to play.
Its quiet at first, barely audible above the roar of the dead below, but it carries. It carries so far the Deli girls can hear it and stand up to look, and I see others on buildings further away, others I haven’t seen before, other survivors coming to hear Music shop play. It starts gently as if carried on the wind. Then each note takes it higher, it is the most beautiful piece of classical music I have ever heard, and I don’t recognise it. It rises and I see all the dead turn, like a Cecil B Demille production of Thriller. It rises again and as I see the Zombies moan as one below, I cannot hear them over Music Shops’ perfectly set up sound system and I smile. They move as one towards the music.
Unconsciously I close my eyes and suddenly I’m there on the river bank, with a girl whose name I don’t remember. Laying back on the grass with the ripple of the water washing gentle tones over me, her skin against mine, laughing gently at her jokes and enjoying the freedom that summer brings while Music Shop plays an unseen score over my memory. I feel my shoulders relax at the warmth over the sun on my face and the smell of her lying across me, a perfect moment, a perfect memory long forgotten but brought here to this place of horror by his beauty. I lie back against the wall as the music detoxes my soul, and then? Oh my days, and then he sings! A beautiful baritone lifts above the city streets in Italian, from some unheard opera and once again it caresses me from this place to my perfect riverbank and for brief moments I am there with the smell of wild flowers and still waters, I feel myself sigh unconsciously and dream of her skin, her smell, her eyes and one unappreciated moment in my life consumed with consumerism and lost to vagaries of everyday life. I lie there and let him wash over me, a thin smile on my face as each note lifts the terror away, and for one brief second all is as it once was.
I blink awake and feel the riverbank fade at the noise below me, a crash, I stand and peer over the edge to see the dead streaming from the streets around and from my shop below. The Dead run, shamble and crawl towards his lilting tones, towards the power of his music. They surround his shop banging pitifully against the glass and crushing together, frantic to taste the voice above them. I close my eyes again but the moment is gone and I realise I don’t know what he is doing but by God I have to protect him, just for the glorious possibility that he sings tomorrow.
I grab the mags and line them up on the wall, I grab the empties and frantically load them dropping bullets over the sides of my island as my hands shake. I realise I have tears flowing down my face and quickly wipe them away. I haven’t saved anyone yet from my vantage point but I will save him. Somehow.
The street below is clear as I hear the crash. Thousands of Dead are so crushed up against the shop the sheer weight has shattered the safety glass and they pour in like ants over a dead bird. I glance at my watch to realise he has been playing for over an hour, long enough for each shambling corpse in earshot to add their weight to the number. I want him to stop so they will disperse and leave him be, and I want him to play to free my soul from this place for just one desperate second longer.
The crowd start to thin on that side as they enter the shop and I see a couple tumble stupidly from the smashed windows of the first floor. The rest rise up the sides of the building clambering on top of each other in their desperation.
I ready myself by getting comfortable and breathing slowly and regularly to level the sight. Music Shop faces slightly towards me as he plays and I see his chest rise and fall with each lyric. His fingers play gently across each key as he creates, in this city of destruction, a pure thing, a human thing reminding us that humanity isn’t survival, it’s creation.
Then I see the first head rise from the stairwell onto his roof, snarling and crusted with filth its milky eyes narrow at seeing him and it rises to its feet, mouth contorted in its snarling hunger. I hope my fingers can match the perfection of Music Shops playing.
It does and even from this distance I take the thing through the forehead, its skull shattering like glass and a wild hue of colours decorating the stairwell and Zombies behind. They come thick and fast now having located the source of the sound.
Crack. I shoot. It spins and falls to the ground. Crack. It falls to its knees as others push it over. Crack. Pure luck takes one and ricochets through the eye of another. Over and over I squeeze the trigger, my rhythm matching his, and I hear Music shop play as if he is at a recital. He doesn’t even see them scrambling up the stairs as I take each threat out. The pile of finally dead corpses grow as does the pile of empty magazines at my feet. I will not falter. I will grant him every second before they take him.
“No. No. No.†I whisper to myself as the tide turns. They come up in two or threes now and I have to swing wildly to target as they veer out of the stairwell stumbling towards their goal, their heads bobbing as they slip on the fallen, I find it difficult to to draw a bead and then when the mag runs out I realise they will be on him before I change it. One more I couldn’t save. I watch as they close in on him and for a moment I wish I had one bullet to save him the pain, and I remember the sign. They are barely ten feet away as he finishes. I see him pause and breathe out. Five feet. He picks something up and hold it in both hands, and then he turns and looks at me, smiling and I drop the gun from my eye. I see the distant rooftop and the trail of Zombies cover him, and I want to look away but can’t.
Then I see a flash from the side of the building and for a second the tanker bulges and warps before exploding. The white light make me squint as the shockwave takes a second to reach me. It knock me on my backside and as a wall of noise takes the air from my lungs I see glass, body parts and a guitar fly over my head. The explosion seems to last for ever and as I lie there I see a disembodied hand hit the roof not five feet from me. I wonder just how big an explosion needs to be to throw a hand a good quarter mile to my location.
Now the only sound I can hear is my ears ringing and I scramble up to the edge to see the source. I peek over and see that it wasn’t just gas in that tanker, whatever it was has levelled not only the music shop but also all the surrounding buildings and the buildings next to those, which are in the process of collapsing and finding their new shapes as the smoke rises into a mini mushroom cloud.
“Jesus!†I say to no-one in particular as I survey the scene. Papers and detritus fall languidly to the ground and small fires take root in amongst the red mist, Zombies turned to stains like their victims as the mist obscures the hole where the Music Shop used to be. I realise I never knew his name.
Then I look down. The streets are empty. No living or Dead. All I can see is the car below me and the empty street around me. I look up into the distance left and right along the road and realise they must have heard it and flocked to him, every damn one of them that could hear him. Shit I could do ‘Walking in the Rain’ down there!
My mind reels, still shocked by the blast, and suddenly I’m running. I grab the backpack and fling the door open. For the first time in a week there are no hands below me, only the ruined stairs. I turn and look once again at where the Music Shop was and smile. He knew exactly what he was doing, and not just for me but for all my island neighbours. He gave us hope and opportunity, and as I jump down into my shop I realise, for him, I will not squander either.
Every time I see the name “Pete Bevan” attached to a story, I smile in my mind. Good writing, man.
Comment by Zack Wilson on September 29, 2009 @ 4:32 pm
Wow man that was amazing. I really loved that story…I just have nothing else to say but Amazing.
Comment by Dillon on September 29, 2009 @ 5:32 pm
I’ve read every story on this site, and I really liked yours. Good writing, would like to see where this guy ends up. I loved the names of the characters.
Comment by fenix on September 29, 2009 @ 7:08 pm
Absolutely top-notch.
Comment by Bear on September 29, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
Pete, I’ve got to say you’re one of the reason I keep coming to TotZW, This story was no exception too greatness in your collection of stories. I’d say I wish there were more out by you or that they’d come more often but you can’t be rushed.
Comment by Andrew on September 29, 2009 @ 10:28 pm
God… Your writing is just amazing when I read your stories its easy to just get caught up in them and feel for the characters. All I can say is amazing story just like the others you’ve written keep up the good work we need more like you in the world!
Comment by Joey B on September 30, 2009 @ 3:30 am
Another classic tale. The more you put on here the more I want to write. Keep it up.
Comment by Nick Lloyd on September 30, 2009 @ 8:07 am
Outstanding. It really blew me away, thanks for an awesome story.
Comment by Doc on September 30, 2009 @ 9:08 am
Thanks again for the amazing comments.
When I submitted my first story here it was the first thing I had written in 20 years. It took an age to write, it felt clunky, and when I read it again it doesn’t feel right. However now I am writing regularly it is easier and less proofreading is required to get it correct.
My advice to you is just write it and keep practicing.
Actually with the comments on here, and my very stressful job I am a gnats chuff from giving it up and writing full time!
Comment by Pete Bevan on September 30, 2009 @ 9:28 am
When you decide to do that let us know when we can buy your books!!
This was one of the best stories i have read on this site!! I couldn’t help but picture the music shop man as a white haired, wild eyed, Mozart type person with sweat running down his face, fingers bleeding from pounding out his last tune ever and Z’s dropping all around him as the sniper fires….goose bumps!!!
Comment by Jeff on September 30, 2009 @ 12:13 pm
Wonderful story!
Reminds me of the gun shop owner Andy in the Dawn of the Dead remake. Did you take inspiration for the story from this?
Comment by Scooter on September 30, 2009 @ 1:35 pm
Great job mate, look forward to more!
Comment by jimdandy on September 30, 2009 @ 2:24 pm
Dude, this was one of the best stories on this site ever! I hope you write a sequel to this, about the sniper guy and all the other survivors. All I could say is thanks, and hope to read more of your awesome work!!
Comment by zombie515 on September 30, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
Wonderful. Beautiful and moving. A definite favorite!
Comment by Christine on September 30, 2009 @ 2:51 pm
@ Scooter
The inspiration was more to do with an idea I read in another Z book about using sound to attract them away from you. I expanded the idea somewhat, but didn’t want to write it from Music shops perspective because it needed to be a surprise what he was actually up to. Hence I needed a voyeur, actually a voyeur with a gun, so I guess Andy fitted that well, and I am a huge fan of the DOTD remake as long as you don’t compare it to the original.
Comment by Pete Bevan on September 30, 2009 @ 3:19 pm
Pete – you are a talented, gifted writer. Not just because of what you write but how you write it. It seems you were made for this genre!
This may sound funny but I hope to pay for your work, someday.
Comment by Dan on October 1, 2009 @ 12:26 am
Thanks. Another question if you don’t mind, The ‘Mother’ zombie. Is the “thing on reigns” a baby in one of those child leashes? A toddler zombie? Is that why it is difficult for the character to look at her.
Comment by Scooter on October 1, 2009 @ 12:22 pm
This was sooo good. I liked the fact that there was some hope at the end. I loved the characters Music Shop, Bill and Ben…awesome!
Comment by Rob on October 1, 2009 @ 12:46 pm
@Scooter
That would be telling. I’ll let your own imagination fill in the blanks on that one but a toddler zombie is a good start 🙂
@Dan
Yes I hope you pay me for my work some day too 🙂
Comment by Pete Bevan on October 1, 2009 @ 1:00 pm
music shop probably should of played zomibie, by the cranberries.
Comment by mmmmmadobo on October 1, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Pete YOU SIR, ROCK ! ! ! ! !
Comment by RedneckZombieHunter on October 1, 2009 @ 2:58 pm
Congrats, Bevan. Can anyone give me an estimate as to how many pages on Microsoft word this would come out to be? Or the author could give me the exact
Comment by Zack Wilson on October 1, 2009 @ 3:47 pm
I’ll tell you in person too, but that was fantastic Pete! To know I’ve got such an amazingly talented friend is awesome, I know I’m a bit emotional today but your story brought goose bumps and tears to my eyes! And the comments on here are just inspiring – if you do give up work to write full time I’ll be happy to cook for you and your lovely family until you make it big 🙂 xx
Comment by Sarah on October 2, 2009 @ 3:05 am
That was absolutely amazing! I would buy any future books that you might have published. Keep them coming.
Comment by Coby J. Holland on October 2, 2009 @ 9:25 am
Great story lad – keep em coming.
Comment by Rik on October 2, 2009 @ 4:36 pm
Peter, man I loved that story. Thank you for another great piece of writing.
Comment by Steve on October 3, 2009 @ 8:46 am
absolutely great storytelling, anything I say wouold be beating an undead horse
Comment by rob on October 3, 2009 @ 11:52 am
Really great story. Thanks.
Comment by Zoe on October 5, 2009 @ 11:02 am
You are a truly outstanding writer. As several others have posted when I see your name attached to a story I know it is going to be fantastic.
Comment by Terry Schultz on October 5, 2009 @ 11:55 pm
A really excellent story. Some might say an uplifting zombie story is a contradiction in terms but you just pulled it off.
Comment by Tim McFadden on October 7, 2009 @ 8:35 am
Wow. What a great job catching the hopelessness that he feels at the moment. I wonder if this character would regret leaving his island when he finds that he cannot find another.
Comment by Nate on October 8, 2009 @ 11:17 pm
@nate
If I were him (?) I would pick up the Deli girls and get out of the city.
Comment by Pete Bevan on October 9, 2009 @ 7:22 am
Great story telling, well written, wonderful imagination, must be genetic
Mother Bevan
Comment by Kate Bevan on October 10, 2009 @ 10:48 am
Typical. I’ve got my Mum taking credit for my work… 🙂
Comment by Pete Bevan on October 10, 2009 @ 12:53 pm
I have to say that I’ve been coming to this site for well over a year now, reading each entry with joy (love zombie stories) and this one here is by far one of the best I’ve read, period. Hands down. Excellent story, I’d love to see what happens next!
Comment by Glenn on October 10, 2009 @ 2:39 pm
Congrats on the award and another great story!
Comment by Blue09 on October 12, 2009 @ 2:32 pm
Abso-freakin-lutely Fantastic! (Thats my word)The desperation and hope was palpable! Excellent job! There is hope for me if you had a 20 year hiatus!
Comment by Tasha on October 14, 2009 @ 12:23 pm
An absolutely awesome story. Loved every second I read of it. If only you or someone else could have edited the TINY grammatical errors, it would have been perfect. Those little things stopped me along the way, but still, amazing nonetheless.
You definitely have a imagination and the vocabulary to lay it out to help the reader visualize it within their mind’s eye.
We want more Pete.
Comment by John on October 15, 2009 @ 3:35 am
I like that you took a central premise to narrow the focus of your story; zombies are lured by loud sounds. However, the flow of your story is burdened by way too many cliches, both in writing and content. Part of what has made George Romero himself somewhat boring is that he has ceased to ask “What If?” but instead gives us “other cool stuff that might have happened.” As far as tone goes, decide what you want it to be, but don’t betray yourself. The divergent segment where he fantasizes about being with some girl takes me out of the mood, which would be fine IF you jolted me back to it. But it comes across as overly-sentimental self-pity. The narrator himself remains a mystery to us. All we know is that he has a catalog of every zombie and living person on his block. Given our omniscient view into his mind, you’ve provided the reader little into his true feelings, history, daily routines, or even why he didn’t make a break for it when clearly every zombie within a mile had been lured to the music shop. If you aren’t going to give a first person narrator the opportunity to sell him/herself to the reader, then just go third person.
I think this is a terrific start, but I think it serves best right now as a draft. I saw that after your first submission, you went back later and realized how clunky it was. Do the same with this. You have potential but you can do better. Clean out the stuff we’ve seen a thousand times and introduce us to a narrator we’ve never met. Then you’ll have something more than zombie fans will want to buy.
Comment by Eric on October 15, 2009 @ 12:50 pm
I don’t know what else to say other than, god bless you sir, god bless you and your writing.
Comment by Rick on October 17, 2009 @ 9:38 pm
fuck off john what have you wrote thats so perfect??
Comment by rob on October 19, 2009 @ 12:06 pm
fuck you too eric
Comment by rob on October 19, 2009 @ 12:07 pm
great story wouldnt worry bout the comments
Comment by rob on October 19, 2009 @ 12:08 pm
Grand story – I was thinking if you could submit it to this horror podcast called pseudopod.org to be read. They do a great job making stories come alive through audio.
Comment by Craig on October 19, 2009 @ 10:43 pm
Hey Pete. Fantastic and original Zombie story. I really enjoyed reading it mate. Good to see you the other night X
Comment by Angie Ager on October 21, 2009 @ 3:18 pm
Consistently fantastic Pete. You really are keeping the home fires burning for the UK contingent on this site.
Comment by apeinflames on October 26, 2009 @ 6:11 am
Absolutely incredible. Beautiful piece of work. You need to get published. This is insanely good. 10 out of 10. Two thumbs up! Keep it coming man
Comment by Anthony R. on November 8, 2009 @ 1:38 am
wow that was a amazing story. One of the best I’ve read on this site
Comment by Jordan on November 11, 2009 @ 7:39 pm
Abselotely amazing. inspired me a great deal. keep it up!
Comment by Daniel T. on November 11, 2009 @ 11:22 pm
Love it, as a matter of fact every thing by Pete Bevan. You write the book I’ll buy it.
Comment by hijinxjeep on November 22, 2009 @ 12:16 pm
I really enjoyed your story. Well done, sir.
Comment by brycepunk on December 2, 2009 @ 1:08 am
Fantastic short story! By describing the scene from the point of view of a person with plenty of ammunition and excellent marksmanship skills, it makes any hopelessness the main character feels that much more for the reader. Kudos!
Comment by Chris on December 14, 2009 @ 5:15 pm
Damn good story. Realy well written.
Comment by Inaria Meleasare on December 15, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
Hot damn Pete, you’ve done it again! I absolutely loved the story. I’d gladly buy a book of yours, so start selling!
Comment by John Kilborn on December 23, 2009 @ 3:35 pm
“You definitely have a imagination and the vocabulary to lay it out to help the reader visualize it within their mind’s eye.”
That is it! Keep going!
Comment by Victor (from Brazil) on January 4, 2010 @ 7:46 am
Pete, probably my favorite stury on teh site and I’ve read them all. Great stuff, keep them coming.
Comment by Seth on January 18, 2010 @ 12:15 am
One of the best storys I’ve read whether from a proffesional or an ameture…bravo
Comment by Jeff on January 27, 2010 @ 5:02 am
too bad none of us proof read our spelling before we hit “send”, stury & teh- duh
Comment by Seth on January 31, 2010 @ 1:24 pm
Its worse if a story goes up on the site after proofreading it over, and over, and over, only for the very first word you spot in the first paragraph to be spelt wrong.
D’oh
Comment by Pete Bevan on February 1, 2010 @ 9:17 am
Tears in my eyes. I could hear the music.
Comment by Steph on February 13, 2010 @ 7:11 pm
God man, i usually have to buy an anthology to read a zombie story of this quality
Comment by Micah V on February 20, 2010 @ 10:21 am
More I Must Have MORE!!!
Comment by Dallas on March 21, 2010 @ 7:44 pm
It’s an excellent story, but reading it reminds me of a really athletic person starting karate. They have the physical talent, yet they have to practice to get the technique right. This story displays a superior knack for writing and telling a tale, but run-on sentences pop up everywhere. That has to be corrected to get to the black belt level…unless you’re John Steakley. I also agree that the memory of the girl is a bit too cliche. It might work better if it is simply a non-girl memory (the deli girls would probably make him think of the girl he left behind more than the music). It’s hard to tell on things like that, though. A professional editor might even cut it completely. Otherwise, good job. Keep up the good work.
Comment by Wrenage on March 23, 2010 @ 10:45 am
Pete
I have to admit this is my favorite story on this site. I myself grew up in my uncles gun shop, before joining the United States Marine Corp. I love your work. I have read this story too many times to count. Everytime my heart skips a beat and my jaw drops. I understand you have other stories. But as a faithful reader of your work please make a sequel to this story. You are an amazing writer. Thank you for your work again sir
Comment by Broken 0351 on March 30, 2010 @ 8:18 pm
Thanks Broken, its nice for me to give some small thing back to guys in the military who do such sterling work. I don’t agree 100% with the reason for being in the Middle East, however you guys are out there doing the right thing so you get maximum respect from me for doing so.
Honestly? I don’t think I could do a sequel to ‘Islands’. It was a kind of one shot premise that was one of the most enjoyable stories to write, but unless I can think of a unique theme to tie it to a second story I don’t think we’ll see him again for the moment. Never say never though eh?
Comment by Pete Bevan on March 31, 2010 @ 1:22 am
Very true sir!
I’m not a writer by any means but I Am just of many fans who has there ” favorite story” and would love to see something come from it or give some past to it( the days leading up to when we find our hero). Also my family find all of your work to be amazing, ( my wife loves your “minster” series and our daughter loves anything I read to her but she is also less the 3 months old). Yea we are kinda weird.
Thank you from one greatful fan!
Broken
Comment by Broken 0351 on April 3, 2010 @ 11:48 am
This is one of the coolest stories i’ve ever read!
Comment by Natt Webb on May 17, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
A great read, kept me on the edge of my chair! I loved it!
Comment by L Martin on June 10, 2010 @ 11:21 pm
Leave a comment
Excellent writing!
Comment by Kristen on July 17, 2010 @ 3:56 am
………….. umm………….!!!
Comment by s.hershie on July 23, 2010 @ 4:14 am
ok. thats the most cryptic response I have had. Care to expand on ‘um’?
Comment by Pete Bevan on July 23, 2010 @ 7:42 am
hehe i didnt know what to say so i said umm – in a good way though
Comment by s.hershie on July 24, 2010 @ 5:54 am
I’ll take a good ‘Umm’ over a bad ‘Umm’ anyday.
Comment by Pete Bevan on July 24, 2010 @ 7:03 am
No wonder this fucking won, no excuse for bad language but I get like this when I see someting really epic, this is one of thoses things, amzing.
Comment by Zombie_Hunter_6 on July 29, 2010 @ 3:18 pm
Loved it. Not often do zombie stories highlight the ultimate sacrifice. The overarching themes usually deal with the breakdown of society so this tale of laying down ur life for another is both touching and refreshing. He gave them so many gifts, not the least of which some much neede morale and the restoration of faith in humanity. Perhaps I’m reading too much into it but I was moved by its simplicity and subtlety. Good read.
Comment by neecey on September 1, 2010 @ 9:32 pm
That was one of the best stories that i have ever read, even if its a short story. keep up the good work and these kind of stories!!
I way prefer ones like this compared to ones with the main character getting eaten…
Comment by Josh on October 20, 2010 @ 11:14 pm
i enjoyed this one. it was really short but the pace was fast and exciting.
Comment by kerigrace on January 11, 2011 @ 3:06 pm
Wow. Very creative. I will never forget this story. It flowed through my mind like a movie. Excellant work!
Comment by Leigh on January 19, 2011 @ 7:46 pm
Very well written, sir! I’m quite new to this site, but I’m delighted at the quality of some of the authors’ works, yours most particularly thus far!
I’m looking forward to reading your other pieces, this is only the second I’ve enjoyed. Props!
Comment by Matthew James on January 20, 2011 @ 11:00 pm
I loved the way the tension is slowly ramped up from day to day dispair to a climactic battle … and with classical music as the weapon? Inspired!
Comment by Eljay on February 26, 2011 @ 12:11 pm
Wow! – all I have to say for this epic story
And hahaha thankyou for the entertainment provided within the comments too
@ mother Bevan 😀
Comment by Hope1719 on April 25, 2011 @ 10:58 am
2nd time I’ve read this one….it was totally worth comin’ back for.
It’d be nice if this site had a way of ranking stories based on “Hits” or “Comments” or some such stat thingie…..
as for Islands….just a really compelling and tight story.
Comment by Half-Baked McBride on June 9, 2011 @ 1:13 pm
one of the best stories ive ever read cents i started reading on tihis site.plz if 4 only my pleasure continue this story.its definitely n my top 3 on this site.
Comment by chris on July 2, 2011 @ 2:05 am
this.is.so.good!!!!
Pete, you’re a genius when it comes to writing, each time I see a story with your name as the writer, I always tell myself that the story rocks! continue to write more! ^^
Comment by ehatsumi on June 13, 2012 @ 1:18 am
Pete, this story is great. I’m pretty new to this site (I mean in terms of it being around for 6 years or so and me only finding it 7 or 8 months ago) but I’ve still managed to read – I think – most of the stories on here and I can EASILY say that this story is my favourite. I’ve read it a few times now, tried to study it, to find out what makes it so good.
It’s epic. It’s a short story but you made it epic.
I read a lot and I write a little, and I do both for fun. I think this story is so good because it is fun.
Comment by Justin Dunne on June 28, 2013 @ 8:28 am
Justin, Islands is my number 2 favorite from Pete’s collection. It just has this air of what Z-day really would look and feel like. With that said, let’s look at Season 1 of The Walking Dead when the group leaves Meryl on that roof top. In my mind, I believe they took a look at Islands to get that feel they were looking for for the scene.
Comment by Richard Gustafson on June 28, 2013 @ 9:15 am
Richard, what’s your number 1?
Comment by Justin Dunne on June 28, 2013 @ 9:20 am
Ha ha, it’s the super ultra secret extra number 13 at the end of All The Dead Are Here titled The Tellers Apprentice. Do you have a copy Justin? If you don’t, get it as it will not disappoint but be warned, you need to comment on Amazon after reading it or you will incur the wrath of Mr Bevan.
Comment by Richard Gustafson on June 28, 2013 @ 10:33 am
Ha ha, a super ultra secret story? NO WAY! Don’t tell Pete but no, I don’t have a copy. I mean, not yet….fear the wrath of MR BEVAN! 🙂
Comment by Justin Dunne on July 2, 2013 @ 2:28 am
What! *Squints eyes*
As a temptation I have dropped the price of All The Dead are Here as well.
There is no excuse……….
Comment by Pete Bevan on July 2, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
Actually there are a few stories in All the Dead that can’t be found on here. Roughly half I think.
Comment by Pete Bevan on July 2, 2013 @ 12:55 pm
I just realized that I meant to write 17 and not 13. That is all, thank you.
Comment by Richard Gustafson on July 2, 2013 @ 2:12 pm
Got me an I-pad – first thing I downloaded was the kindle app. 2nd thing I downloaded was “All the Dead are Here”
Weeeee, I love technology!
Are there any other authors who appear on this site that have E-books. I’m kindle ready!
Comment by Justin Dunne on July 22, 2013 @ 1:56 am