(sung to “Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer”)

You know Dracula and Frankenstein,

and werewolves and aliens.

Giant spiders and lizards,

demons and phantoms.

(more…)

Twas the Night of the Zombie Apocalypse, when nothing at all was very well,
All sorts of creatures were stirring, even by dead neighbor, Bob, right where he fell.
Random boards and furniture were hung over the doors and sash,
in hopes the Army arriving, before having to dash. (more…)

Zenith had planned this day for weeks, ever since he heard about the Blood Rains: the Second Step coming out on Christmas eve. He told his family not to plan anything until after 3 p.m. that required his showing up because he was dead set on seeing it opening day. They complied, as parents often do with a favorite firstborn. In their eyes, Zenith was worth the inconvenient delay of a few hours, so they placated his sisters with a morning full of carols and brunch and planned a festive family dinner together: no problem. (more…)

“Mother,” asked Seymour, “what are you doing out of bed?”

The old woman didn’t answer. She was carrying a lit wicket inside an archaic, silver, antique candle holder and the hot wax was dripping down onto her wrists. There was no need for this of course as the hallway was already ablaze with light courtesy of the best bulbs which G.E. had to offer. Plus the cold afternoon sun, which was brightened by the high piles of leftover snow outside, shone fearlessly through every available pane. (more…)

A treat for the holidays – Ed.

It was Jenny Cupcake who found the body. An avalanche had exposed a transparent wall of ice; and behind the ice, an elf hung, suspended in ice, arms akimbo and skin blue. His eyes stared forward blankly, and his mouth had dropped open. He looked flash frozen.

Jenny Cupcake tapped the ice with the butt of her Uzi. “You okay in there?”

The elf made no reply; didn’t blink, didn’t move, made no sign that he had even registered Jenny’s presence.

She peered at him. His uniform was outdated but identified as a worker from Sector 7-G. A ragged stump marked the spot where his left thumb had been savagely removed from his hand, and angry looking red gashes criss-crossed his palm. He had probably been a wood worker. (more…)

It was Jenny Cupcake who found the body. An avalanche had exposed a transparent wall of ice; and behind the ice, an elf hung, suspended in ice, arms akimbo and skin blue. His eyes stared forward blankly, and his mouth had dropped open. He looked flash frozen.

Jenny Cupcake tapped the ice with the butt of her Uzi. “You okay in there?”

The elf made no reply; didn’t blink, didn’t move, made no sign that he had even registered Jenny’s presence.

She peered at him. His uniform was outdated but identified as a worker from Sector 7-G. A ragged stump marked the spot where his left thumb had been savagely removed from his hand, and angry looking red gashes criss-crossed his palm. He had probably been a wood worker. (more…)

In the wintertime, when the infected were few and slow, we would walk outside among them, employing clubs and axes at our pleasure. Watching the kids from the safe house joining in, I could imagine this becoming a Christmas tradition in a few years like caroling or standing in line outside the mall at daybreak on December 26th to take advantage of great sales with newly minted gift cards. Crack. Snap. Rip. It was like the sound of church or jingle bells. Our Christmas presents? Laughter. Exercise. Fresh air. (more…)